So…first of all, I apologize to all those who’s travel was disrupted because of my medical issues. Being diverted to a different airport or having to sit on the plane while I was carried off must have been disturbing, disconcerting, frustrating and inconvenient. Secondly, I thank all of you who prayed and were patient… those who showed their concern and care for me and my family were amazing.
Many emotions and thoughts keep surfacing around these events even though it has been many years since. So… what have I learned? Very simply… I have my limits… each person has their limits. We are uniquely made and have a body that has very specific needs and trigger points. The big “aha” is that I don’t always take the best care of myself. Stress, poor diet, lack of hydration has a big impact on my well being… to the point of my body physically shutting down.
But that isn’t all… what I have really learned is that even though I know what is important, have had bad experiences, and have negatively affected many people, I still don’t do what I know is right… physically, mentally or spiritually. It reminds me of what Paul talked about in Romans concerning following Jesus and his good and perfect life that is best…
Romans 7:15-25 NIV 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So… I keep on trying, never giving up and knowing that even in my failures, God has delivered me! In the faith given to me by God, I also hold onto the hope, strength and confidence that comes only in Jesus. And I say with Paul… Thanks be to God!